Episode show notes
Today, I want to dive into an important topic because so many of us get stuck in our own story to the point where we believe that it’s a fact. In episode 25 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast, we are diving into story vs. fact and how to separate the stories we tell ourselves apart from the facts in our lives.
But before we dive right in, let me introduce myself in case this is your first visit. Welcome to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Elizabeth, creator of the Soulfully Abundant Group Coaching program and certified Life Coach. This podcast is for the person who feels insecure, lost, and wants more from life but feels stuck. It is for the person who is ready to claim their confidence, self-worth, and take back control of their life. In this podcast, we will cover topics including self-love, managing your emotions, reconnecting in your relationships, and even manifestation. Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are so capable of anything you want to achieve. Let’s jump in!
Check out the points below to learn more about fact vs. fiction, and the stories we tell ourselves. And for even more details on each point, listen to ALL of episode 25 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast on your preferred streaming platform!
Fact vs. Fiction: Your perception is your reality.
You think that your thoughts or perception of things around you describe your reality but that's not what is happening. You’re perceiving your reality and that’s creating every result you get in your life. When you think of relationships, we all have relationships in life including the relationship we have with ourselves. Think of an important relationship that’s in your life or one that you are struggling with. For many of you, an easy name came up which means you are either doing great or you want to improve that relationship.
I want you to think about how you think of that person now. For example, if I think of my husband and how I used to describe him, I would think things along the lines of how he doe what he wants, doesn’t care much about what I think, he's’ not affectionate. I could go on and on, but this is a story. This is an old story I used to play on repeat about my husband and I truly believed it was a fact. It’s no wonder when you think of these relationships you are struggling with, the people around you also dislike the relationship because of how you describe it based on the story in your head.
In this FREE 3 day training, I will share with you exactly how I went FROM: insecure, 'fake it until I make it' mentality, and very lost in my relationship TO: crushing my goals, feeling in control of my emotions, totally empowered to go after what I want, and to being in a truly secure and satisfying relationship.
Fact vs. Fiction: It’s super empowering that you have control over your thoughts, opinions, and perception.
That story I had in my head about my husband weren’t facts, they were opinions. The facts would have been something like specifics. This would include exactly what was said. Then you check in with what your thoughts are about what was said. When I break this down for clients, especially in relationships, I tell them to not give me the drama or opinions, only the facts. Usually, clients start good, stating what was said, but when it comes to tones or how things were said, that’s your opinion and that goes to the story, not fact. When we separate facts and see how much of your emotion is coming from a story, rather than facts, that’s very telling and takes a lot of self-responsibility to admit. It’s also super empowering because you have control over your thoughts, opinions, and perception.
You don’t have control over how anybody behaves. No wonder people are frustrated and disappointed because they have things in their head about what they can’t change, replaying stories of the negative side and the side completely out of their control. Separating fiction vs. fact is such a vital tool to have. When you can differentiate what happened and break it down, that makes such a difference. The only reason you are feeling a certain way is not because of the words said, it is because of the thoughts you had about the words said.
Fact vs. Fiction: You get to choose the story you tell yourself.
You get to choose to think something was rude, or that person doesn’t love you. You choose that, and if that belief makes you feel disrespected or unloved, that’s on you. I know it seems harsh to hear but I promise you, this is radical self-responsibility. The more you take responsibility for the thoughts you have about the people and circumstances in your life completely out of your control, and release trying to control these situations, you gain power. You will gain emotional power over yourself.
With facts vs. fiction, know that it’s okay to feel those feelings. Sometimes we have a story in our head, we recognize it, we own it, and we still choose to think that story. We choose to feel disappointed because that’s how we’ve interpreted the situation. There are times when I choose to feel a certain emotion such as disappointment or upset, it doesn’t mean that I don’t allow myself to feel emotions and I’m happy all the time. Even when I have those moments where I see the story going on in my head, I can allow myself to feel it but I own it.
Fact vs. Fiction: The Stories We Tell Ourselves: The Bottomline
break up, move cities, quit jobs, and change diets. We do all these things to run away and change the external, since we didn’t fix the story in our head we default to the negative. You need to do the inner work, get in touch with your story, then decide a place of radical self-responsibility. Don’t run and try to change the external situations before you realize what story you’re telling yourself to make you want to run in the first place.
To hear more about the stories we tell ourselves and how to set apart fact vs. fiction, don’t forget to tune in to episode 25 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast.
Thank you SO much for tuning in to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I hope this episode has helped you see your worth and gave you the tools to start to take back control of your life. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a few seconds to leave a rating and review. Each review helps me reach more women looking for confidence just like you.
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About your host
My name is Emily Elizabeth, I am a life and confidence coach, and I am ready to help you take back your confidence and feel in control of your life.
I love helping women get out of the victim mentality, find their self-worth, and reconnect with themselves so they can not only improve themselves but all their relationships. When I am not creating content for my clients and programs, you can find me on a spontaneous trip with my husband, working out, curled up with my journal, or spending time enjoying the outdoors.
What I want to do for you all today is a little guided meditation, visualizations, and affirmations that I say a lot to myself and guide my clients through as well.