Episode show notes
Today, in episode 26 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast, I am sharing an interview that I was featured in on the Becoming Virtuosa Podcast with Sue Crockett, a fellow life coach. We talk all about owning your emotions so that you can love your partner more. I think this is such an important topic because it is truly life-changing. In this episode, you’ll hear me talk mostly about my relationship with my husband and reflecting on the growth we’ve had.
But before we dive right in, let me introduce myself in case this is your first visit. Welcome to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Elizabeth, creator of the Soulfully Abundant Group Coaching program and certified Life Coach. This podcast is for the person who feels insecure, lost, and wants more from life but feels stuck. It is for the person who is ready to claim their confidence, self-worth, and take back control of their life. In this podcast, we will cover topics including self-love, managing your emotions, reconnecting in your relationships, and even manifestation. Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are so capable of anything you want to achieve. Let’s jump in!
Check out the points below to learn more about how to own your emotions and bring more love to your relationships. And for even more details on each point, listen to ALL of episode 26 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast on your preferred streaming platform!
How to Own Your Emotions: To make a shift in the relationship between my husband and I, I had to take full responsibility for my actions.
I had so much resentment at one point for my husband, and it’s a painful feeling when you are in love with somebody but feel this resentment towards them. This kind of emotion is so strong and makes you almost feel stuck. At the same time, a part of you also knows there’s love there. Now I’m at a spot in my relationship I never thought we’d get to. If I told my past self that things would improve, I never would have believed it. I feel like I’m now in the perfect relationship for me, I feel fulfilled and confident in what my husband and I have now. Of course, we still face annoyances and frustrations, we are still human, but overall it feels like that old relationship is so far in the past, it is non-existent.
What sparked this change was within me. My husband and I have both grown together, but I do feel like I get to take a lot of the credit as to why our relationship has found success. I take a lot of responsibility for the pain beforehand too because I recognize I was causing it. I was reflecting on some older content on my Instagram and I found a video I had done almost a year ago today, I was being coached on my relationship and marriage. I finally said I want to take full responsibility. I realized that I don’t want to place blame anymore, when I blame him, I trap myself. Every time I blame him, I miss out on an opportunity to love him.
In this FREE 3 day training, I will share with you exactly how I went FROM: insecure, 'fake it until I make it' mentality, and very lost in my relationship TO: crushing my goals, feeling in control of my emotions, totally empowered to go after what I want, and to being in a truly secure and satisfying relationship.
How to Own Your Emotions: Recognize that the way you are feeling is your responsibility.
The first and most important thing to do is to recognize the way you’re feeling is your responsibility. This is a hard thing to do, we often depend on our partners or circumstances to dictate our feelings. However, It’s about how we own those circumstances in ourselves and choose to respond that creates our emotional outcome. It’s also super important to have those triggering moments. This is something I work on with my clients, I let them know it’s okay to feel whatever emotions they are feeling. Then I remind them that they are here right now in this session with me because they want to work and improve on an issue. It is important to express to your partner what is triggering you, but own it at the same time.
That’s exactly how I talk to my husband now. I let him know that when he said something, I had certain thoughts in my head about it. I am owning it, but I want him to also hear me out. Sometimes we also need to sleep on it and revisit the situation the next day. A couple of weeks ago I was frustrated with my husband and we didn’t have the best conversation at the moment. I slept on it, and the next day I was able to approach him from a clear headspace and talk it out without attacking. I acknowledge my thoughts and that they aren’t the way I want to perceive him. However, I will vocalize and let him know that if this instance happened again, I would prefer he handled it in a certain manner. I maintain calmness and focus on the goal of him just simply hearing me out.
How to Own Your Emotions: It’s the little things you have to work on, or else over time it will grow and form into a big ball of resentment.
The manual is a concept I learned in my training, and teach with my clients. Essentially, your manual is your rulebook of how you believe other people should behave alongside justifications. When that certain person doesn’t behave in that way according to your manual, you become angry or annoyed. I used to do this with my husband, and as he did certain things over time, it added up to this resentment. It’s all those little things that you don’t address or speak up about that can turn into this huge void and lead up to a big ball of resentment. It’s the little things you have to work through, or else it will grow and get worse.
You have to own your shit and own your emotions. Take responsibility, make clear requests, and express preferences in a way that your partner hears you. No couple communicates the same way so it’s a matter of trial and error. Once you figure out what works for you and make clear your requests, you have to release the expectation that your partner will follow through. How you speak and communicate makes such a difference. I used to be a nagger and wondered why my husband never listened. Now I have changed the way I speak up and have noticed a tremendous difference in how he responds as well.
How to Own Your Emotions and Bring More Love to Your Relationships with Sue Crockett: The Bottomline
Think of the person you love in your life that you’re struggling with the most. Write down everything you’d like them to do that they’re not currently doing. Then, ask yourself, how would you feel if they were doing all these things you wanted? Take those emotions that come up and then ask yourself if you felt appreciated by your partner or heard, what kind of thoughts would help you feel those emotions? Write down all the things you want to be thinking about when it comes to your partner. As you write this, you realize these thoughts are available to you now. Our thoughts are a choice.
To hear more about how to own your emotions and bring more love to your relationship, don’t forget to tune in to episode 26 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast.
Thank you SO much for tuning in to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I hope this episode has helped you see your worth and gave you the tools to start to take back control of your life. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a few seconds to leave a rating and review. Each review helps me reach more women looking for confidence just like you.
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About your host
My name is Emily Elizabeth, I am a life and confidence coach, and I am ready to help you take back your confidence and feel in control of your life.
I love helping women get out of the victim mentality, find their self-worth, and reconnect with themselves so they can not only improve themselves but all their relationships. When I am not creating content for my clients and programs, you can find me on a spontaneous trip with my husband, working out, curled up with my journal, or spending time enjoying the outdoors.
What I want to do for you all today is a little guided meditation, visualizations, and affirmations that I say a lot to myself and guide my clients through as well.