Episode show notes
They say you are what you eat, but I think that’s only half true. I say, you’re also what you think. And if you’re constantly replaying past moments through the lens of self-loathing, or imagining a play-by-play fight while you shower with all the things you should have said (we’ve all done it), you’re really only hurting yourself. You’re sabotaging your relationship with yourself and with others, and stealing the joy from your present and future.
If this is your first listen with me, allow me to introduce myself and welcome to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Elizabeth, creator of the Soulfully Abundant Group Coaching program and certified Life Coach. This podcast is for the person who feels insecure, lost, and wants more from life but feels stuck. It is for their life. In this podcast, we will cover topics including self-love, managing your emotions, reconnecting in your relationships, and even manifestation. Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are so capable of anything you want to achieve. Let’s jump in!
When Daydreams Turn Dangerous
Adjusting to our new nomadic lifestyle has come with a bump or two down the road, and that includes how Max and I interact. We went from having a home and working to being together almost constantly while completely changing our way of life. Of course, conflicts are going to arise.
Know what shouldn’t arise? Moments where we are having a little tiff, he goes to cool off, and I then imagine him coming back and saying everything I want to hear. We’ve all done this, right? It’s like the kid from A Christmas Story when he’s mad, his parents punish him by washing his mouth out with soap, so he imagines returning years later blinded from the suds, and his parents are full of regret and remorse.
In this FREE 3 day training, I will share with you exactly how I went FROM: insecure, 'fake it until I make it' mentality, and very lost in my relationship TO: crushing my goals, feeling in control of my emotions, totally empowered to go after what I want, and to being in a truly secure and satisfying relationship.
It was me sitting there expecting him to completely validate me at the expense of himself, wanting him to “save” me as I embraced complete and total victimhood. This does not serve the people we want to be, nor does it help the people we are with; all it does is add drama and unnecessary pain. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you’re rarely going to be 100% right in a conflict. The goal should never be to “win” an apology anyway. Whether it’s a partner or friend or coworker, the goal should be to love, live, or work harmoniously, and pretending you’re the president of Victimtown isn’t helping anyone. Instead, investigate why you’re behaving defensively. Reflect from a place of compassion for yourself and the other person, and recognize your part in whatever conflict is arising.
Breaking News: Dwelling on the Past Won’t Change it: The Bottomline
Instead of just re-imagining fights with you in the starring role as the ultimate victim, do you also love to dwell on moments in your life with immense regretful self-loathing? I thought so. I don’t know why we do this, but I can picture it now; just as you go to close your eyes and sleep, visions of every failure or mistake flash before your eyes. Why are we like this?
Instead of spiraling down into a well of self-hatred, try and take a step back. Remember that no amount of shame will undo past actions. Try and see anything you can learn from the moment, and then forgive it. Forgiveness isn’t condoning a time when you were in the wrong; it’s choosing to learn from it, and empowering yourself enough to let it go. If you want to get really wild, you can re-imagine yourself in a similar future moment, and manifest it going positively. Yeah, hope looks great on you.
Be sure to join my Facebook Group for free Masterclasses and check out these programs and challenges below for more guidance!
Thank you SO much for tuning in to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! If you enjoyed this episode, please take a few seconds to leave a rating and review. Each review helps me reach more women looking for confidence just like you.
Also, I’m giving a FREE 5 DAY CHALLENGE:
EMPOWERED RELATIONSHIPS
How to lead from love, trust and confidence in all your relationships… even the ones you may not be aware of, but need to be…
Register now! We start April 4th.
Also, don’t forget to take a screenshot, share it in your Instagram stories with your biggest takeaway, and tag me @emilyelizabethcoaching! Can’t wait until the next episode!
About your host
My name is Emily Elizabeth, I am a life and confidence coach, and I am ready to help you take back your confidence and feel in control of your life.
I love helping women get out of the victim mentality, find their self-worth, and reconnect with themselves so they can not only improve themselves but all their relationships. When I am not creating content for my clients and programs, you can find me on a spontaneous trip with my husband, working out, curled up with my journal, or spending time enjoying the outdoors.
What I want to do for you all today is a little guided meditation, visualizations, and affirmations that I say a lot to myself and guide my clients through as well.