Episode show notes
I'm sure you've heard this question on repeat for the past few weeks, but can you believe the year is already coming to a close?! This can be such a hectic time of year, and I think sometimes in the general holiday rush, we forget to check in with ourselves to reflect on the year we’ve had. So, let’s do that today as we discuss setting intentions in the new year.
If this is your first listen with me, allow me to introduce myself and welcome to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Elizabeth, creator of the Soulfully Abundant Group Coaching program and certified Life Coach. This podcast is for the person who feels insecure, lost, and wants more from life but feels stuck. It is for their life. In this podcast, we will cover topics including self-love, managing your emotions, reconnecting in your relationships, and even manifestation. Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are so capable of anything you want to achieve. Let’s jump in!
I have found that people typically fall into two categories, so to start it’s important to figure out which one you are. Are you team “I hate this stupid disappointment of a year, and everything is terrible” or team “Woohoo! Look at all my accomplishments! I adore life — time is a glowy wonder”?
So Negative, a Caveman Can Do It
I know we all want (or should want) to lean more into the latter way of thinking, but most of us don’t. And that’s ok. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again — we’re biologically primed to be more negative.
I blame our caveman ancestors who had to worry about a saber-toothed tiger lurking around every corner. Don’t be ashamed of this unfortunate legacy because it’s probably the reason you’re here in these feelings right now. It's part of what makes you who you are.
Curiosity Not Shame
Start slowly, and just try to be curious about how you approach the world and why. What do you normally choose to focus on? Is it pretty much inherently negative? If so, why? Do you think there’s a chance you are defining your own narrative before it even happens?
It may not seem like a big deal. So you’re stuck in traffic for 30 minutes, and during that half-hour, you focus on how annoyed you feel. Not earth-shattering, right? Some would even say that’s a normal reaction…
BUT, if you approach every annoying thing in your day with a negative mindset, that adds up. It literally shapes how you think. It becomes how you live.
And that seems like quite a miserable way of life.
In this FREE 3 day training, I will share with you exactly how I went FROM: insecure, 'fake it until I make it' mentality, and very lost in my relationship TO: crushing my goals, feeling in control of my emotions, totally empowered to go after what I want, and to being in a truly secure and satisfying relationship.
How to Shift Your Focus
If you have discovered you view everything through a negative lens, don’t panic. This can be undone. You can shift your focus; in fact, you’re the only one who can fix this. You can make intentional choices to reframe your thinking.
This doesn’t mean you have to run around singing and dancing about every little thing that happens to you. Nor does it mean you have to love traffic or slow walkers, or gluten-free bread. Hell, we’ll settle for neutrality for any given situation.
Example: I had a client who had to move, and all she could focus on was how daunting the packing would be and how heinous her children would behave during said laborious packing. And I wasn’t here to tell her that she had to be gleeful at the prospect of packing; we all know it can be the worst.
But, what if she was already ramping herself up before anything even happened? You can hate moving without deciding your children are going to misbehave and the prospect of packing your kitchen is going to steal your soul.
Instead, I told her to try and embrace even the smallest victories in the moving process. How great it’s going to feel to get rid of useless junk. And how fun re-organizing a new home is — it’s my personal drug of choice.
Don’t Deny Your Feelings, But Don’t Live in Them Either: The Bottomline
This is also not to say you need to deny any negative thoughts or feelings. Denial doesn’t help us process tough times or emotions. But there’s a big difference between feeling things genuinely to work through them and curling up with them, allowing them to overtake our entire lives.
It can be tricky to find the balance between processing and fixating, and it’s not always going to happen. But even just trying is better than living in a constant state of negativity.
Just be gentle in your reflections, and be lovingly curious in possible ways to shift your perspectives.
Above all, forgive the moments you wish you could change. And then focus on changing your future perspectives instead.
I encourage you to set a mantra or goal and enter 2022 with hope. Infinite hope. You deserve that.
Be sure to join my Facebook Group for free Masterclasses and check out these programs and challenges below for more guidance!
Thank you SO much for tuning in to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! If you enjoyed this episode, please take a few seconds to leave a rating and review. Each review helps me reach more women looking for confidence just like you.
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About your host
My name is Emily Elizabeth, I am a life and confidence coach, and I am ready to help you take back your confidence and feel in control of your life.
I love helping women get out of the victim mentality, find their self-worth, and reconnect with themselves so they can not only improve themselves but all their relationships. When I am not creating content for my clients and programs, you can find me on a spontaneous trip with my husband, working out, curled up with my journal, or spending time enjoying the outdoors.
What I want to do for you all today is a little guided meditation, visualizations, and affirmations that I say a lot to myself and guide my clients through as well.