Episode show notes
Today, in episode 44 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast, I am going to share more with you about my relationship with my husband and how I went from a place of resentment to love. It’s a painful place to be when you love somebody so much yet you have this hatred feeling towards them because of built-up frustration that goes unresolved. Today, I want to share my story to help anybody going through the same feeling.
But before we dive right in, let me introduce myself in case this is your first visit. Welcome to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Elizabeth, creator of the Soulfully Abundant Group Coaching program and certified Life Coach. This podcast is for the person who feels insecure, lost, and wants more from life but feels stuck. It is for the person who is ready to claim their confidence, self-worth, and take back control of their life. In this podcast, we will cover topics including self-love, managing your emotions, reconnecting in your relationships, and even manifestation. Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are so capable of anything you want to achieve. Let’s jump in!
Check out the points below to hear more about my relationship with my husband and how I went from resentment to love. For even more details on each point, listen to ALL of episode 44 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast on your preferred streaming platform!
How I was in a victim mindset during my relationship.
When you're in a victim mindset, you blame your partner for the way that you're feeling. You may be blaming them for how you're feeling because you feel so justified that they need to help and communicate about a problem that isn't even there. In this type of mindset, you feel so entitled that your right and they're wrong and they need to change immediately. I would always call my husband inconsiderate and feel like I was in a relationship where I wasn't being heard. I needed to learn how to communicate my wants and desires in a way that my husband heard me and in a way that wasn't so defensive. I always needed to prove I was right or get the last word in because of how stubborn I was. This is where I did everything wrong. I was always nagging and blaming. I now see why he would respond the way he did to me because I was constantly accusing him. If you’re always trying to change a person and make them follow your rule book, you're going to be upset because it's not realistic and that's not what a loving partner does.
When I stopped blaming my husband for the way I was feeling.
I was getting coached and I remember crying the whole session because I was so done being upset in my marriage. I was mad at myself for not being happy and for not feeling the way I'm supposed to feel. I was also mad that I was a coach myself who was struggling with the most important relationship in my life. In this one coaching session, I remember telling my coach that I didn't want to paint this picture of my husband anymore. I want to stop believing he's this terrible person because he's not and I knew he wasn't. I started to feel guilt and shame because of this story I created. Through this session, I became relieved because of how done I was with this scenario I made and I was ready to change the way I thought about my relationship. I was so excited to change my thought process and to see what would happen. This took time but I committed myself that I was going to stop being the victim and focus on the things that do serve me in my relationship. Through a lot of practice, swallowing my pride, and not always trying to prove I was right I started to have relief. I didn't care to prove my point because I learned to step away from that belief. When I started doing this, our fights lessened because there was zero defense.
In this FREE 3 day training, I will share with you exactly how I went FROM: insecure, 'fake it until I make it' mentality, and very lost in my relationship TO: crushing my goals, feeling in control of my emotions, totally empowered to go after what I want, and to being in a truly secure and satisfying relationship.
Changing my mindset and showing up differently.
When you can learn and choose to do something for your partner, even though you don't prefer it, it changes everything and it feels so good knowing they enjoy it. I took it upon myself to change my mindset around him and to change how I felt. Once I did that I noticed amazing differences. When you show up differently in your marriage with more love and compassion, your partner will naturally start behaving differently. This is what happened in my relationship. We trained each other to behave right. Don't get me wrong, we still get into our disagreements but now I can recognize and see where my thoughts are taking me but I won't indulge in them. I now love our love and I'm choosing to believe we're the perfect match.
Powerful Tips to Overcome Resentment and Shift Into Love: The Bottomline
I hope this story with my husband helps you in your relationships. No relationship is perfect but you can choose to believe it is. Allow yourself to love your partner and improve your relationship. When I learned to stop attacking and blaming, things got so much better and I'm so thankful for where I and my husband are today.
To hear more powerful tips to overcome resentment in your relationship, don’t forget to tune in to episode 44 of the Soulfully Confident Podcast.
Thank you SO much for tuning in to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I hope this episode helps you make your relationship stronger and healthier. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a few seconds to leave a rating and review. Each review helps me reach more women looking for confidence just like you.
Also! Don’t forget to take a screenshot, share it in your Instagram stories with your biggest takeaway, and tag me @emilyelizabethcoaching! Can’t wait until the next episode!
About your host
My name is Emily Elizabeth, I am a life and confidence coach, and I am ready to help you take back your confidence and feel in control of your life.
I love helping women get out of the victim mentality, find their self-worth, and reconnect with themselves so they can not only improve themselves but all their relationships. When I am not creating content for my clients and programs, you can find me on a spontaneous trip with my husband, working out, curled up with my journal, or spending time enjoying the outdoors.
What I want to do for you all today is a little guided meditation, visualizations, and affirmations that I say a lot to myself and guide my clients through as well.