Episode show notes
I know that, especially when the relationship chips are down, falling into the trap of comparison is easy to do. “Oh wow, look at my friend and her perfect relationship. Meanwhile my partner/husband/manfriend apparently never met a clothes hamper in his life.”
That charming, thoughtful, and emotionally evolved fantasy influencer partner would never. In my head, he also volunteers at an animal shelter, runs a petting zoo for rescue animals, and likes to talk about feelings for 2-hour stints…
If this is your first listen with me, allow me to introduce myself and welcome you to the Soulfully Confident Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Elizabeth, creator of the Soulfully Abundant Group Coaching program and certified Life Coach. This podcast is for the person who feels insecure, lost, and wants more from life but feels stuck. It is for their life. In this podcast, we will cover topics including self-love, managing your emotions, reconnecting in your relationships, and even manifestation. Remember, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are so capable of anything you want to achieve. Let’s jump in!
Nothing is Real
At least, online. Well, things are real I suppose, but nothing is perfect. Ever. We all have good moments and bad moments, and things we wish we could change about ourselves or our partners. But here’s the thing, no one is going to post something like, “My husband snores like a bear with a sinus infection, and yesterday we fought because he pees in the shower and I hate it.”
And all this constant comparison to these “perfect” relationships that don’t even exist just makes us create problems when there really aren’t any. It makes us nitpick and decide we’re not good enough and neither is the person we love. Comparison fosters the perfect storm of resentment and doubt in the solidity of your relationship, and just makes you a pretty miserable person overall.
In this FREE 3 day training, I will share with you exactly how I went FROM: insecure, 'fake it until I make it' mentality, and very lost in my relationship TO: crushing my goals, feeling in control of my emotions, totally empowered to go after what I want, and to being in a truly secure and satisfying relationship.
Protect Your Relationship
Ok, so this need to compare is coming from somewhere. So get your detective hat on and grab your swimsuit because we’re taking an investigative dive to see, why all the relationship envy?
Where is it coming from? Is it possible that maybe it’s actually a sign you need to enhance or improve a part of your partnership?
For example, you don’t actually need flowers, that’s not what’s missing. But maybe more thoughtful consideration is. Don’t be impulsively reactionary or assume the worst; do be curious, and go from there.
You Should Be Rooting For Each Other: The Bottomline
The thing about comparison is that more often than not you end up in a victim mindset. So what if there are things your partner needs to work on? I bet there are things you need to work on too.
This isn’t about being “right” this is about parsing out your own bullshit that you bring to the table, and being kind to yourself and your partner, instead of being “right”.
You need to catch your thoughts before they fester and decide what you want to believe. For example, the other day I found my husband's clothes on the floor, and immediately my mind went to “he’s so lazy and inconsiderate”. But I took a step back and asked myself if I really wanted this little thing to become a big deal; to define him.
I chose to step into compassion because he is a considerate person, who was probably in a rush and didn’t mean to hurt me intentionally.
And let’s be real, I’m sure I do small things that irritate him too because as stated above, nobody's perfect.
But if you make the space to give each other some grace, I bet you’ll find your relationship is closer to perfection than you thought.
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About your host
My name is Emily Elizabeth, I am a life and confidence coach, and I am ready to help you take back your confidence and feel in control of your life.
I love helping women get out of the victim mentality, find their self-worth, and reconnect with themselves so they can not only improve themselves but all their relationships. When I am not creating content for my clients and programs, you can find me on a spontaneous trip with my husband, working out, curled up with my journal, or spending time enjoying the outdoors.
What I want to do for you all today is a little guided meditation, visualizations, and affirmations that I say a lot to myself and guide my clients through as well.