Fight. Kiss. Makeup. We have it down pretty good.

I moved to Holland from America after marrying my Dutchman in July 2019. The first week with my new husband had its ups and downs...between the jet lag, emotions of this big change and the adjustment (ongoing) of two very independent people moving in together, we probably wish we could do it over.

But, I spent so much time practicing negative thoughts in our relationship before...and believe me those negative thoughts come up still... but, with a lot of thought work and having confidence in trusting these waves of life with a partner and choosing to choose him everyday, letting go of the small stuff, and confidently and lovingly communicating, will get us through much more smoothly.

That smooth ride hits a pothole and may even be close to barreling off a cliff at times…but, it is in those moments I view as an opportunity to grow. A chance to look at my thoughts, feelings and actions. After all, I am responsible for all of those things. Sometimes my mind wants him to be the one who should make me feel good…seems normal that a husband should make his wife happy, right?

But when I really think of that, of him providing my happiness, I think bondage and feel disempowered. I want to own my emotions, I don’t want to depend on anyone to make me feel how I desire to feel. I would be at the mercy of everyone around me if anyone but myself had to make me happy.

Only we can make ourselves happy, that is not the job of your partner or anyone else in your life. I say, the best way to go about a relationship is to confidently take responsibility for your own happiness, meet your partner in the middle, always communicate kindly, have fun and laugh often! .

Confidently owning your '“shit” gets you so much closer to your ‘happy’ than blaming others or expecting others to meet your needs. Who are you looking for to try to make you happy? Let me know how that works out.

Be confidently you, always.

Emily Elizabeth